Again With The Grandmother Stuff?!
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Yours Truly
Two weeks ago there was this. Now it's happened again. We attended a birthday party for the three year old down the block. The parents of this boy hired a puppeteer and Iwas talking to her before her gig started. After discussing how she got into puppeteering and how she met our friends, she asked if I was Z's grandmother. I was stunned. This woman had to be losing her sight because there is no way on earth I could be the mother of either of the parents - they're the same age as me!

Oh Come On...
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Yours Truly

During a quick stop at the grocery store this afternoon I heard the young, high-school aged cashier ask Lauren if she was out shopping with her... grandma!! Lauren didn't answer so the girl looked at me and said "No?" I shook my head and replied "I'm the mom". Of course, then she stepped all over herself trying to make an excuse saying she had never seen me in there with Lauren before. Well, you know, she'd never seen Lauren in there before either because she would have been with me or with Tony. I rarely go to that particular store and Tony goes there even less than I (and then only during the day while the cashier would be in school). She looked toward the bagger for help, but received none. I'm sure that bagger is still teasing her about it and well she should because she deserves to be teased. That'll teach her never to assume anything and even if she does, for Heaven's sake don't make a comment about it until you know for sure whether your assumption is correct! 

A few words about my looks...Puhleeease! I have always looked younger than my age. In fact, when I was 21, a friend of my grandmother, who knew my mom and that she had three kids, asked my mom if I was her 13 year old. Not long after that a flight attendant asked my mother if I would be traveling alone because they could have an escort for me during my layover in Chicago.  And at the State Fair, when I was about 25, I had the carnie guess my age...15 and I walked away with a huge stuffed animal. I realize I may be looking more my age these days, but I certainly do...not...look...like a grandma!

On the way to the car, I said to Lauren, "She thought I was your grandma!" to which Lauren replied, "You're way too young to be my grandma." <smile> That's my girl! <smile>

Tooth Fairy Meltdown
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Lauren
Oh my, the meltdown that occured first thing this morning. All because of that darned Tooth Fairy - she just didn't get it right. She was supposed to leave a present not that shiny, new Sacajewea dollar coin! When I pointed out that the coin was the present, I was immediately and adamantly informed that a present cannot...be...a...coin! This tooth fairy is one surprised little lady. Especially when after a trip to the dentist to check why the tooth was coming out in such an odd fashion and appearing as if the gum was disintegrating around it, this first tooth is worth about $45! Next time she'd better accept the dollar coin and like it!

Smile For The Camera
Mood:  special
Topic: Lauren
One down...eleven to go.

Oh, Those Pearly Whites
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Lauren

My baby has a loose tooth. Not just a little bit loose, but way loose. I'd say that thing should be out within a week. Of course I'm making it out to be so totally exciting that Lauren won't think of it as losing something and hopefully won't mind the blood when it does come out. That reminds me...note to self: 1. have a chat with Lauren about how it might bleed a little bit, and 2. buy a red washcloth.

While it is a bit exciting for me as well, I’m also feeling a bit saddened by the loss of that little tooth. All along I've been able to handle most changes easily because they've pretty much been emotional and intellectual, but this one is physical and it's not going to be easy. I remember the same type of feelings hitting me once before when at about 5 months, Lauren grabbed my finger, put it in her mouth, and bit down - her first baby tooth! I knew then that her delightful, adorable, cute little open-mouthed gum-baring smile was going to be forever lost and I was sad.

Now there's going to be another change and it's going to be another big physical change. She will be getting her permanent teeth, she will forever look different, and I am sad all over again. 

So Much For Easy
Mood:  down
Topic: Yours Truly

Ding Dong, the gallbladder's out, the gallbladder's out, the gallbladder's out. Ding Dong, the Gall Blad Der Is Out!

No, it's not the drugs. It can't be the drugs because the drugs made me sick. I stopped taking them a number of days ago and I'm flying by with Extra Strength Tylenol and Ibuprofen. No, that little ditty is courtesy of my current read, Wicked.

The title is really quite fitting for the second surgery of my life. My c-section was certainly easier than my lap choley. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the pain meds made me sick or maybe something about being put under vs having a spinal. And speaking of being put under - everyone who told me it was easy, relaxing, drift off to sleep calm...you LIE! All I felt, after walking into the operating room (yes...same day surgery patients get to walk into the operating room), hopping up onto the table, and having the IV inserted, was extremely dizzy. Coming out of it was not so dreamy either. Lots of teeth chattering and shaking, which a shot of demerol took care of, along with nausea which the med thay gave me for that didn't even touch. The nurses had me dressed and in a wheel chair within 20 minutes of waking. It was another 15 minutes getting post-op instructions and then I was heading home. The following three days were spent in Vicodin hell. I needed the pain relief but the price was nausea. At one point I even thought maybe I wasn't taking enough so I took 2 (the bottle said 1-2 tablets every 4 hrs) and let me tell you, I thought I just might be heading back to the hospital. While my resting heart rate is a nice low 60, after two Vicodin, it dropped down to 54. That, along with feeling out of it and dizzy and nauseous, had me worried. You can bet big money on the fact that you'll never catch me at an NA meeting saying "Hi, I'm Joy. I'm an addict and Vicodin was my drug of choice." Let's see...oh yes, I also developed a hematoma under one of the incisions - quite painful.  According to the dr, warm compresses should have caused the blood or fluid to "spew out", but not so in my case. It's still there and it looks like I'll be one of those for whom it is slowly, slowly reabsorbed by the body.

I haven't been brave enough yet to try out some fatty foods, so I don't know for sure, but everything points to it being the solution. All in all, I'm glad I had it out and I can also honestly say I've had my fill of surgery!

Time Is Drawing Near
Mood:  hungry
Topic: Yours Truly

Not having had surgery before - well surgery where I'm put out anyway because there was that c-section a little over 5 years ago. I was awake for that and as the surgeon commented, "You were more in control. Not really, but it felt like it anyway" so you'd think I'd be very nervous about the upcoming surgery.

Well, I am a bit nervous about the going to sleep part and I'm sure that's because I recently saw the movie COMA - you know the one with Michael Douglas where people in a certain operating room never seem to wake up after surgery. There was a part in that movie where the woman goes in for her D & C and the anesthesiologist explains to someone that after they knock her out they have three minutes to get the tube in her throat or she's a goner. Now, I knew people go out and muscles are relaxed, and I knew that there is a tube in the throat, but it never really dawned on me that ALL muscles are so relaxed and there is a tube in the throat for breathing. Hence the nervousness about being put under. 

But I'm actually more nervous about something else. I'm nervous because I won't get to eat after midnight and my surgery isn't until 1:45pm! That's almost 14 hours!!! Four...teen...hours...with...no...food. Piece of cake you may think, but it's not a piece of cake for me. I get migraines and I most often get them from not eating. If you've ever had a migraine, you'll know what I mean. And if you haven't? Well, let's just say you will do anything to avoid that kind of pain. I'm considering eating dinner at 11:45pm on Tuesday night. As a coworker said, "There's nothing that says you can't".

One Of Those Emails
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: Cool

Subject: The Price of Children

The government recently calculated the cost of
raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with
$160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about
price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down.
It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice
is don't have children if you want to be "rich."
Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00?

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and
warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or
chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying
kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no
matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed
that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You
get to:

* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and
Pooh,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and
flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray
painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set
in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward
letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang
for your buck. You get to be a hero just  for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the  training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading  pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
coaching a baseball team  that never wins but always
gets treated to ice cream  regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness
the:

* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch
added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long
list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren
and great grandchildren. You get an education in
psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications,
and human sexuality that no college can  match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there
under God. You have all the power to heal boo-boos,
scare away the monsters  under the bed, patch a broken
heart, police a slumber party, ground them  forever,
and love them without limits, so one day they will,
like you,  love without counting the cost. That is
quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren!!!!!!!

It's the best investment you'll make!

The Incident On The Bus
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Lauren

Normally Lauren takes a few days to process events and then blurt the story to me in the middle of an everyday conversation. This time however, she told me the day it happened. In fact, she told me after only an hour or so had passed. On the bus ride home, the neighbor girl told Lauren that she had an eye problem. Lauren, who does not know about bleph and that she has it, replied that she did not have an eye problem. The neighbor girl pretty much replied that, yes, she did, and went on to explain that another girl from class didn't want to be near Lauren because of her "eye problem and that thing on her face”. 

It seems the kids spent another day talking about Lauren’s strawberry kiss on her cheek, was it a rash? A scab? Was it contagious? All of this in front of Lauren. Now, Lauren knows it’s a birthmark. She also knows that it’s often called an angel’s kiss and we like to say its three kisses from her grandmother, her grandfather, and her great grandmother, all of whom passed away while I was pregnant with Lauren.  I’m sure Lauren was feeling very self-conscious and when that happens the last thing one wants to do is the one thing that would stop the talking - call more attention to oneself while explaining what it is. So Lauren didn’t say anything at the time. 

The eye issue is different though. We’ve never mentioned the bleph to Lauren because we don’t want her to thinking there’s something “wrong” with her. I often thought Tony should say something to her, but he always wanted to wait until that bridge appeared. I think he was hoping it wouldn’t ever appear since her eyelids don’t seem to be affected as much his were, but here we are, standing in front of said bridge. I felt my way through it the best I could by telling Lauren that it wasn’t a nice thing for the other girl to say and asking how she had felt about it. Lauren seemed more bewildered by it than anything else. She just couldn’t figure out why someone would say she had an eye problem when she “doesn’t”. Then I told Tony is was time something was said because this wasn’t just teasing, this was shunning. Toyn proceeded to have an age appropriate talk with Lauren about their eyes being a little different from other people’s eyes – more almond shaped. He went on to explain how kids talk about or tease those who have something a little different about them. His example was of how a boy might be teased because his ears stick out. He asked her if she had ever teased anyone and explained that it makes people feel sad and it’s not a nice thing to do. He said she should just ignore people who say anything because they’re just being mean.  I think it will be enough to get her started.

I have to give kudos to Tony here. I’m sure all of this has brought back some awfully painful feelings for him as well as brought up news ones when thinking about what may lie ahead for Lauren. He did say that he told her way more than he had intended but he did it. He did it for me because I thought it was important. So thank you Tony J Thank you for facing those feelings and taking a step in preparing Lauren for dealing with what may come. I love you!

If Only
Mood:  happy
Topic: Family and Friends

Lauren asked me today when we could go to Heaven to visit my parents. When I told her we couldn't visit Heaven she wondered why we couldn't simply get on a plane and fly up into the sky to see them. Oh how I wish it could be done!