How Do I Do this?
Mood:  blue
Topic: Lauren
Preface: Lauren was born with a rare eyelid disorder, blepharophimosis epicanthus inversus (BPES, U of Washington medical resource), where the levator muscle in the upper eyelid is either weak or non-existent. It basically shows itself as eyelids that are abnormally narrow horizontally and droopy.

It’s starting. Well, actually, it already started last summer at the local DQ with a child asking its parent why that girl over there has small eyes. What’s really starting is Lauren’s awareness of the looks directed her way. A couple weeks ago, as Lauren and I sat in on a library story time, there were three girls sitting in front of us. One of the stories was simply sections of photos of different animals and the leader was asking the kids what they thought the animal was. Lauren was having a ball and getting most of them right - that's my girl :-) The three girls in front of us kept turning around and looking at Lauren. Finally, Lauren turned to me and asked why they kept looking at her. I said it was probably because she knew the answers to the leader’s questions. But I knew they were probably looking because of her eyes. I knew I should say something to them like, “It’s not polite to stare” or “Do you have a question?”, but the lioness in me wanted to leap to Lauren's defense and yell “Got a problem?!” I managed not to react in that manner, but I did glare back at them all the while trying to make my eyes display the anger and disgust I found myself feeling toward them. I know they’re just kids and when kids get curious, they stare…but Lauren is my baby and no one is going to single her out. At least not when I'm around. Grrrr!

I knew this day would come, but I thought it wouldn’t be until she was in school, so I’m finding myself unprepared and in a rush to become prepared.

Concert For George
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: Cool
PBS just completed one of its, what DH and I call, "beg for money" sessions where they play many of the best shows they've ever done and annoyingly interrupt at some of the best parts to ask for money (yes, we do contribute, but generally not during the fundraising). This session I caught parts of the Concert for George.

There was something about George Harrison that made him my favorite Beatle. Whenever I saw interviews, he was by far the most interesting one to listen to. I guess I liked that he hung back from all the stardom crap. "I asked to be successful. I never asked to be famous. I've got more famous than I wanted to be." and his humor, "If you're going to be in a pop band, then it might as well be the Beatles." Ah, dry wit. I also think that overall, through the years, he was the best looking Beatle - check out the photo gallery at GeorgeHarrison.com.

The concert was a wonderful tribute to George Harrison and included various stars performing George's songs. The list of stars includes Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Tom Petty, Ravi Shankar, and the cast of Monty Python. George's son, Dhani, was there too - My God, he is the spitting image of his father!! I missed While My Guitar Gently Weeps because I was putting a certain little one to bed, but Tony said it was awesome and by far the best number. We were so impressed with the show, I bought the DVD - Concert for George. I'm looking forward to watching it.

Never Say Never
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: See?!
I said I would never do it and I was adamant about it...I would not buy movies (VHS or DVD). I just could not see the point in buying a movie, watching it once or twice, and then having it take up space. I mean, that's the whole point of video rental - they have them, you borrow them for a low fee, and then you return them. Deal done.

Of course, that was before they started selling for the same amount, or sometimes even less, than renting. Now we must have at least 60 DVDs. True, many of them are children's movies, but still - 60!

I decided what I needed was a rule, a rule to keep a handle on the situation. My general rule became that it must be a classic or a movie that either I or Tony love and would watch at least once every year or two. That was good. We ended up with West Side Story, Waking Ned Devine (hilarious!!), Schindler's List, THX 1138, M*A*S*H, A Chorus Line, etc.

So guess what happens. Yup...that rule went bust. It went bust when I found out Wal-Mart has a $5 bin! I couldn't resist Goodnight Vietnam with Robin Williams or the original Italian Job with Michael Caine (we've been trying to find that at the rental places for over a year now), although those two do qualify under watch at least once every year or two and classic, respectively. But The Falcon and the Snowman? I'm thinking that one may break the rule. I seem to remember it being really good, but I could be thinking of a different movie. Ocean Eleven? Good movie, but it does not follow the rule. The Big Lebowski? I have not seen it in its entirety, so I can't be sure. A River Runs Through it? Sure, great scenery and decent movie, but it doesn't adhere to the rule.

What about the kid movies? Well, they ALL fit the rule because Lauren has watched every single one of them at least 10 times each. Whew - got off on that one ;-)

Hmmm...maybe I could simply keep adding to the original rule like codicils to a will. Now my general rule will be that it must be a classic or a movie we love and will watch at least once every year or so...unless it's $5 or less.

Say What?!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Yowza!
I live where it gets cold and because of that we have a little something downtown(or uptown, whichever you prefer) called the Skyway. The buildings themselves are connected on the 2nd level by windowed walkways that cross the streets and inside each building there is a hallway that goes through the building leading from one walkway to the next. The skyway level of all of these buildings has become one very long shopping district with convenience stores, restaurants, and of course, entrances to the major department stores. The hallways/walkways where there are no shops have lighted "billboard" advertisements. It's really quite a maze and until you get a feel for it, you can find yourself a bit turned around and confused.

During the lunch hour, not only do people use the skyway to go for lunch, many use it for exercise. Personally, I walk for my exercise and I have two routes that I follow depending on if I go pre-lunch rush, or post-lunch rush. They're about the same distance and I can get a good 45 minute to an hour walk under my belt. I've been doing my walk post-lunch rush lately (I'd been doing it pre-lunch rush for a good year) and along my route, there is one of these lighted billboards for the Discover Card that reads "I'm expensing lunch and getting a cashback bonus too! Is that legal?" Now, I'm normally traveling at a decent clip and every single time I pass this particular sign, I catch the beginning part in my peripheral vision - only I see it as "I'm expressing lunch...". Having breastfed my daughter, including pumping(a.k.a. expressing) while at work, I just have to chuckle.

They Just Keep Comin'
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
Another Lauren-ism

"Snuckems. I really love that word. It's just so... snuckem-y."


:-)

Lucky 7!!
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: Lauren
It took forever to get to step 2 (see poop training) and then to step 2B, Lauren's own special step. She hovered back and forth between 2 and 2B for a long time as well. Then two days ago, you will never guess...she jumped right to 7!!! Not only did she jump to 7 on Tuesday, but she did it again on Wednesday! And she did it all on her own with no prompting from mom or dad :-)

Way to go girl - here's your song (arms doing the circle in front of waist and then raising up on the woo)...

Go Lauren, Go Lauren, Woo!
Go Lauren, Go Lauren, Woo!

Get Jiggy With It
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Cool
Pennies from Heaven, Christopher Walken, striptease. If you have not seen Christopher Walken do his striptease in the Pennies from Heaven movie, you have missed a great dance number. I know, I know...Christopher Walken sexy? Who'd want to see him do a striptease? Well, let me tell you, he was much younger then, much better looking, very agile, and what a dancer!!

DH had borrowed Little Shop of Horrors from the library last week and while watching it I asked if it was the one with the striptease by Christopher Walken. Well, we watched it and it wasn't. I was sorely disappointed. I wracked my brain trying to think of the correct movie and then while walking through Target, I saw a two pack DVD set - Fame and Pennies from Heaven - that was it! Pennies from Heaven. Later that evening, DH put the movie in and we waited. Lauren was antsy to watch a kid movie and, as usual, have me watch it with her, so I was off to the other room with a plea to DH to call me when the striptease came on. When it came on, I was there, man. Lauren even came out to see what was going on. We watched and enjoyed. Now, before I get comments on allowing a three year old to watch a striptease, while it is an R-rated movie, he ended up in his underwear - depression era underwear - not much to see. The three year old take on it? "Mom, he can jiggle"

Yes Lauren, he sure can jiggle! :-)

Is It Sinking In Yet?
Mood:  not sure
Speaking of patience...driving home from the indoor playground the other day, I heard "Shut up!" from the backseat. Shocked, I, yet again, began the re-enforcement dialog that we do not talk like that. It's naughty. To which Lauren began the litany of words deemed appropriate. It went something like this:

L: Please and thank you are nice words.

J: Yes they are - they're very polite.

L: Excuse me is a nice word.

J: Yes it is.

L: Being patient is a nice thing to do.

Wait a minute! We've been working so hard to instill some patience in Lauren all the while lamenting the fact that it is just not sinking in and here was my chance!! The moment presented itself and I was going to be all over it :-) So, to make a big deal out of the fact that just that very morning she had made an improvement in her ability to be patient. I replied:

J: Yes it is and I want to say that I appreciate you being so patient while I was on the phone for work this morning. I appreciate it very much. Thank you very much.

Her response? Silence. Not a peep, not an "uh huh", nothing.

J: Lauren, did you hear me?

L: Not now. I'm feeding my dog.

Hmmm...too much, too late???

Kudos To SAHMs Everywhere
Mood:  special
Topic: Yowza!
The flu bug bit DH on the weekend, so for the past 6 days I have done the SAHM thing. I have to say, after day four, I was so ready to go back to work. Don't get me wrong, I love Lauren to death, but I was so worn out at the end of every day, it wasn't funny. It didn't help that she has pretty much given up on her afternoon nap. Oh, she still needs it, but she can get by without one and always wants to. I, on the other hand, needed that afternoon nap. We managed to keep busy all day, every day. It definitely helped to get out of the house every day and our normal weekend routine became our every day routine - Sesame Street (a.k.a. kid TV) in the morning while having breakfast, out to take care of errands, then play time at the park if it wasn't too cold (it actually hit 40 one day!) or at the indoor playground at the mall if it was. This was followed by lunch at the mall and finally off to home to try for the elusive afternoon nap.

It worked well and I found myself telling DH that I was enjoying being home with Lauren - until yesterday, day 6. We would have gone to dance class, but Lauren started coming down with a cold on day 4 and by day 6, I just didn't want to expose the other kids to her germs (unlike other parents who don't think EVEN ONCE about what their kids are passing around - but that's another post altogether that I don't think I'll cover because it would put me over the edge). I don't know if it's because we didn't get out of the house or because I'd reached some kind of limit on kid games, kid TV, and kid movies. I like to think I would have been OK if we'd been able to go out. I could be fooling myself but what the heck, I'm going with it.

Long story short - I'm sending out kudos to all of those SAHMs out there that do this every day of every week of every month. It takes a special person to be able to live a kid's life that many times over and retain their sanity and most of all, their patience.

Keep Your Sick Kids Where They Belong - HOME!
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Rants
I know I said I wasn't going to post about this, but where the hell do people get off taking their kids out in public when they are obviously sick and contagious?! We wash our hands often, so I can cut them some slack if they have no choice but to bring them to the grocery store or the post office or somewhere like that, but to bring their runny-nosed, hacking cougher kids to the indoor playground where they know the chances of it being passed along to other unsuspecting kids are, oh, I'd say about 100%, is totally beyond all reason!!! Do they even stop for one minute to consider that their kid is going to pass it along to someone else's? Thanks to these geniuses, we are about to get no sleep in our house and we're probably going to have to spend $40+ to take our kid to the doctor because she can't breath, is horribly congested, and feverish. Thank you very much you f-ing idiots.