Just Call Me Rosanne Rosannadanna
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Rants
For the past 'I don't know how many' years, a lane along one side of the highway I take to and from work every day has been an HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane, or sane lane as we lay folk like to call it. Starting in May 2005 it will no longer be an HOV lane; it will be an HOT (High Occupancy Toll) lane. Single occupancy vehicles will now be able to buy their way onto the lane.

My day starts early so on the way in to work, I usually have no problem with traffic. But on the way home it can be a bear. I decided I was going to sign up for the pass for those times when I really needed to get home in a timelier manner. Monday, April 11th was the day we could begin signing up for the transponder that would allow use of the new toll lane to non-commuter vehicles. I went to sign up online only to realize I needed our license plate numbers in order to open an account. I figured I would get the numbers and sign up Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning I went online and found the site did not have the standard https in the url to indicate a secure site. Since I had to give my credit card number, I surely did not want to take the chance that the site was an insecure site. I decided to go in person to the DMV office mentioned online to sign up. Later that morning I finally had Lauren on board with running errands by agreeing that one of them would be to go to the indoor playground. We were off…only I had forgotten that my car was already beeping at me Monday night to feed it some gas, so we sweated out our the 15 mile drive to a Costco station near the DMV office. Of course, it was then that I realized I had left my credit card at home. Not only did I need that card to purchase gas, but I needed it to sign up for the pass. So I emptied out my wallet filling the tank with gas from a regular station and headed home for the card. Then it was back to the DMV office. We went in, patiently stood in line (only two people in front of us, so not too hard to do), and approached the counter.

Me: “Is this where we get the pass?”
DMV: “What?” (With a puzzled expression)
Me: “Is this where we get the pass?”
DMV: “What pass?” (With the same puzzled expression)
Me: “For the HOV lane”
DMV: blank look
Me: “The commuter lane”
DMV: blank look and just as I was about to spell it out in the simplest of terms
DMV: “Oh, you mean the sane lane?”
Me: “Yes” (you idiot)

Now, you’d think since they work for the department of motor vehicles, they would know about the pass, or at least what the friggin’ HOV lane is! All this for a pass I was only going to use on rare occasions. They gave me a number to call. I was pissed. Sure, the first trip was my fault for not having my credit card, but I had just driven 60+ miles just to have the DMV say "what?" so the anger at myself was conveniently transferred to the DMV boneheads.

Eventually I did get signed up for the pass. Then I checked the website to find out the why the DMV didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

The office listed was a DOT (department of transportation) office, not a DMV office.

Never mind.

Best Friends
Mood:  blue
Topic: Family and Friends
It dawned on me the other day that I no longer have a best friend...someone who knows me better than anyone else, knows when something is bothering me, cries with me, and celebrates with me. Someone who would help me in any way he/she could, give me the shirt off his/her back.

Then I realized what I was really thinking of was a parent.

This blue mood shouldn't surprise me. April 27th will be the 4th anniversary of my father's death. Because he passed away so soon after my mother (5 months), the anniversary of his death inevitably brings up all the feelings associated with my mother's death. A two-for-one if you will.

My parents may not have been Ward and June Cleaver (who's are?), but they were my parents and they knew me better than anyone else did, does, or will. And I miss them.

Enough Already
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Rants
Let the poor woman go.

It's Not Your Fault
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Rants
A friend's child was recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and when they were told, they invariably received the "It's nothing you did, it's not your fault" line. Tony and I received the exact same words when Lauren was diagnosed with BPES. I know why they deliver the line, but WHY…do they…always…deliver…the…line? It's always the first line they deliver too.

In our cases, the disorders are genetic – would anyone of average and above intelligence really believe they are at fault? What in the world could they have done?

Or, perhaps the question would be, what did they NOT do?

During the first few months after conception, genes are busy dividing like crazy and trying to get to where they are supposed to be. Maybe we are somehow supposed to rein them in, keep them in check. "Hey you, FoxL2, stop that and get back to your natural order" or “I said no. Stop that dividing right now – there’s only supposed to be two of you”. Kids don't always listen and do as you request when they're full-fledged human beings living in this world, why would they listen and do as requested when they're safely tucked inside the womb? Besides, what are you going to do if they don't listen? You can't grab them by the arm, drag their screaming butts down the hall, and shut them in a time-out with a "You can come out when you're ready to cooperate".

But kids are bombarded with all kinds of distractions, you say, while there’s not much going on inside the womb aside from the dividing. Well, there are about 25,000 gene pairs all trying to get to where they're supposed to go and be lined up nice and neat once they get there. But they’re programmed to know where to go, you add. Have you ever gone to a sporting event with thousands of people - all cramming the doors trying to get where they are supposed to be? They know where their seats are too, but it doesn’t make it any easier, any neater, or any faster. It's truly a miracle those genes end up exactly where they're supposed to in such a short amount of time and they all get there nice and neat.

Lest you think I’m unfeeling or don’t get it, I get it. I’m a mother. I understand about guilt. I know why they deliver the line.

But WHY…do they…always…deliver…the…line?

How Do I Do this?
Mood:  blue
Topic: Lauren
Preface: Lauren was born with a rare eyelid disorder, blepharophimosis epicanthus inversus (BPES, U of Washington medical resource), where the levator muscle in the upper eyelid is either weak or non-existent. It basically shows itself as eyelids that are abnormally narrow horizontally and droopy.

It’s starting. Well, actually, it already started last summer at the local DQ with a child asking its parent why that girl over there has small eyes. What’s really starting is Lauren’s awareness of the looks directed her way. A couple weeks ago, as Lauren and I sat in on a library story time, there were three girls sitting in front of us. One of the stories was simply sections of photos of different animals and the leader was asking the kids what they thought the animal was. Lauren was having a ball and getting most of them right - that's my girl :-) The three girls in front of us kept turning around and looking at Lauren. Finally, Lauren turned to me and asked why they kept looking at her. I said it was probably because she knew the answers to the leader’s questions. But I knew they were probably looking because of her eyes. I knew I should say something to them like, “It’s not polite to stare” or “Do you have a question?”, but the lioness in me wanted to leap to Lauren's defense and yell “Got a problem?!” I managed not to react in that manner, but I did glare back at them all the while trying to make my eyes display the anger and disgust I found myself feeling toward them. I know they’re just kids and when kids get curious, they stare…but Lauren is my baby and no one is going to single her out. At least not when I'm around. Grrrr!

I knew this day would come, but I thought it wouldn’t be until she was in school, so I’m finding myself unprepared and in a rush to become prepared.

Concert For George
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: Cool
PBS just completed one of its, what DH and I call, "beg for money" sessions where they play many of the best shows they've ever done and annoyingly interrupt at some of the best parts to ask for money (yes, we do contribute, but generally not during the fundraising). This session I caught parts of the Concert for George.

There was something about George Harrison that made him my favorite Beatle. Whenever I saw interviews, he was by far the most interesting one to listen to. I guess I liked that he hung back from all the stardom crap. "I asked to be successful. I never asked to be famous. I've got more famous than I wanted to be." and his humor, "If you're going to be in a pop band, then it might as well be the Beatles." Ah, dry wit. I also think that overall, through the years, he was the best looking Beatle - check out the photo gallery at GeorgeHarrison.com.

The concert was a wonderful tribute to George Harrison and included various stars performing George's songs. The list of stars includes Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Tom Petty, Ravi Shankar, and the cast of Monty Python. George's son, Dhani, was there too - My God, he is the spitting image of his father!! I missed While My Guitar Gently Weeps because I was putting a certain little one to bed, but Tony said it was awesome and by far the best number. We were so impressed with the show, I bought the DVD - Concert for George. I'm looking forward to watching it.

Never Say Never
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: See?!
I said I would never do it and I was adamant about it...I would not buy movies (VHS or DVD). I just could not see the point in buying a movie, watching it once or twice, and then having it take up space. I mean, that's the whole point of video rental - they have them, you borrow them for a low fee, and then you return them. Deal done.

Of course, that was before they started selling for the same amount, or sometimes even less, than renting. Now we must have at least 60 DVDs. True, many of them are children's movies, but still - 60!

I decided what I needed was a rule, a rule to keep a handle on the situation. My general rule became that it must be a classic or a movie that either I or Tony love and would watch at least once every year or two. That was good. We ended up with West Side Story, Waking Ned Devine (hilarious!!), Schindler's List, THX 1138, M*A*S*H, A Chorus Line, etc.

So guess what happens. Yup...that rule went bust. It went bust when I found out Wal-Mart has a $5 bin! I couldn't resist Goodnight Vietnam with Robin Williams or the original Italian Job with Michael Caine (we've been trying to find that at the rental places for over a year now), although those two do qualify under watch at least once every year or two and classic, respectively. But The Falcon and the Snowman? I'm thinking that one may break the rule. I seem to remember it being really good, but I could be thinking of a different movie. Ocean Eleven? Good movie, but it does not follow the rule. The Big Lebowski? I have not seen it in its entirety, so I can't be sure. A River Runs Through it? Sure, great scenery and decent movie, but it doesn't adhere to the rule.

What about the kid movies? Well, they ALL fit the rule because Lauren has watched every single one of them at least 10 times each. Whew - got off on that one ;-)

Hmmm...maybe I could simply keep adding to the original rule like codicils to a will. Now my general rule will be that it must be a classic or a movie we love and will watch at least once every year or so...unless it's $5 or less.

Say What?!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Yowza!
I live where it gets cold and because of that we have a little something downtown(or uptown, whichever you prefer) called the Skyway. The buildings themselves are connected on the 2nd level by windowed walkways that cross the streets and inside each building there is a hallway that goes through the building leading from one walkway to the next. The skyway level of all of these buildings has become one very long shopping district with convenience stores, restaurants, and of course, entrances to the major department stores. The hallways/walkways where there are no shops have lighted "billboard" advertisements. It's really quite a maze and until you get a feel for it, you can find yourself a bit turned around and confused.

During the lunch hour, not only do people use the skyway to go for lunch, many use it for exercise. Personally, I walk for my exercise and I have two routes that I follow depending on if I go pre-lunch rush, or post-lunch rush. They're about the same distance and I can get a good 45 minute to an hour walk under my belt. I've been doing my walk post-lunch rush lately (I'd been doing it pre-lunch rush for a good year) and along my route, there is one of these lighted billboards for the Discover Card that reads "I'm expensing lunch and getting a cashback bonus too! Is that legal?" Now, I'm normally traveling at a decent clip and every single time I pass this particular sign, I catch the beginning part in my peripheral vision - only I see it as "I'm expressing lunch...". Having breastfed my daughter, including pumping(a.k.a. expressing) while at work, I just have to chuckle.

They Just Keep Comin'
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
Another Lauren-ism

"Snuckems. I really love that word. It's just so... snuckem-y."


:-)

Lucky 7!!
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: Lauren
It took forever to get to step 2 (see poop training) and then to step 2B, Lauren's own special step. She hovered back and forth between 2 and 2B for a long time as well. Then two days ago, you will never guess...she jumped right to 7!!! Not only did she jump to 7 on Tuesday, but she did it again on Wednesday! And she did it all on her own with no prompting from mom or dad :-)

Way to go girl - here's your song (arms doing the circle in front of waist and then raising up on the woo)...

Go Lauren, Go Lauren, Woo!
Go Lauren, Go Lauren, Woo!