And The Answer Is...
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
Lauren has a keen interest silly words lately. Well, what she considers silly words. One was sloths and we enjoyed a good 15 minutes of repeating the word over and over followed by giggling. She then began to come up with some of her own very silly words, so I decided to throw a few tongue twisters at her to see if she thought they sounded funny.

Me: If three witches were watching three watches, which witch would watch which watch?

I expected peals of laughter, but instead I received,

L:(without missing a beat) The one with the green face!

I was amazed that she even followed the twister enough to answer the question. We tried another.

Me: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Sure enough...

L: Over there.

The Secret To A Healthy Treat
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Lauren
The other day when it was about 97 degrees and humid, Lauren and I were out running some errands. She wanted to go to one of her favorite places - the indoor playground. We started to head over there but found the traffic to be just too much so I casually mentioned that we'd have to skip the playground but offered an ice cream treat instead. Tony and I have been trying to promote healthful treats and foods and it looks like some of it has sunk in. Here's the conversation that followed:

L: But Mom, we're not suppose to eat junk food.
Me: Oh, you're right. OK. Let's skip it then.
L: (pause) Well...maybe we could just sneak it into our mouths.
Me: (not wanting to unwittingly encourage sneaking) Hmmm. How about if we call it a "once-in-a-while" treat.
L: I know! We can pretend it's broccoli - we can have broccoli in a cone!
Me: (muffled laughter)

So we stopped to get some broccoli in a cone. When we arrived home and Tony asked about our trip, Lauren told him where we had been and that we had had a treat. When Tony asked what the treat was, Lauren turned to me with a panicked look, put her hand to her mouth, and in a very serious voice whispered "Shhh! Don't tell him!". Again, in order not to encourage sneaking, I said we could tell him. So Lauren turned around and with a smile said, "We had broccoli in a cone and we licked it like ice cream!"

Two Days, Two Sides
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Lauren
On Mondays Lauren attends a park and rec activity at the nearby elementary school. Normally Tony brings her and he has never had a problem with dropping her off and retreating to the car for 45 minutes of reading. This past Monday, however, I had the day off and took her over. Earlier that morning she had firmly stated "Now Mom. I'm used to going by myself. You can sit in the car and read." which I wholeheartedly agreed to do. The rest of the morning she kept repeating that I should walk her to the shack and then go back to the car to read. I think she was, in some way, trying to make herself more relaxed by reassuring herself that this was the routine and there was nothing to worry about. We arrived and walked to the shack. We entered and Lauren was greeted by the "girls in blue". She went over to start coloring a picture and I told her to have fun and I would see her later. Boom. The tears started and she was attached to my leg in a minute flat. I tried to get her started by helping her pick out a color for the flower picture, but she would have none of it. I looked at one of the girls, shrugged, and mouthed "must be a mom thing". Finally one of them came over and took Lauren's hand while I walked out the door. Of course, she was fine and enjoyed her time there, but oh the agony.

On Tuesday Lauren and I stopped at the indoor playground to get out of the 95 degree heat. Not long into play a girl came over and asked Lauren to play only to find out she had to leave. Lauren decided she was going to find someone to play with. She asked another girl to play and ran back to me to tell me she thought the girl had said no. She asked a second girl who turned and walked away. She asked a third girl who replied that she was with her sister, but Lauren could play with them. She began playing with them only to have the grandmother scold the girl for not playing with her sister (which what's up with that?!) Three times Lauren ventured to ask someone to play with her and three times she ended up with no one to play with. I was getting worried it was going to cause a reversion back to not playing with anyone, but Lauren surprised me. A fourth, younger girl came in and Lauren asked her to play. Bingo! They played a follow-the-leader type game where the other girl was the leader and Lauren the follower. Lauren was happy and proud that she was playing with someone. When they came around near us parents, Lauren would beam and ask "Do you see me playing with that girl?" or "Look at me. I'm playing with that girl!" This continued on for about 15 minutes until the girl became upset that Lauren was copying her. So I had to explain to her that the girl didn't want to play follow-the-leader anymore. Since that's the only game that's ever played by the kids at the indoor playground, Lauren didn't quite understand the girl wanted to play, just not that particular game.

So there you have it. One day shy, the next outgoing. Sometimes I wonder which will win. I have a feeling it will turn out to be a combination of both with a slight tendency toward outgoing and I say Yeah! for Lauren.

Really Big Shew
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
Lauren and I frequent the Goodwill in our area to "look at the pretty things on the shelves" and when we do, Lauren always wants to visit the "kid's section" with all of the toys. The other day as she looked around the toy area, she spied a horse head on a stick just like one her grandmother has (it plays music when you squeeze its ear). She grabbed it, then spied a microphone and a chair and she was off. She positioned the chair just so, sat on it, and spoke into the mic like a pro. "And now...ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to my beautiful horse"

She doesn't have the "great stone face" of Ed Sullivan, nor the wooden stage presense, but she's been known to utter a few malapropisms in her day and she had one heck of a novelty show lined up with the horse :-)

Oh My God!
Mood:  surprised
Topic: Lauren
Where did the time go?!! One month from today, my beautiful, precious, little girl will be four years old!

Look At That One!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
This 4th of July, we had intentions of finding a parade to attend, but just never got around to it. So, we prepared for the fireworks show as we do every year, by doning our long sleeved shirts and long pants and coating them with Off. Thankfully, this year it wasn't quite so hot and there was a slight breeze to keep the bugs moving so we settled in to wait for the fireworks to begin. Two years ago we found a great spot where we can see the show along with 5 more from surrounding communities. Normally, even though a nearby parking lot is packed with cars, there aren't many people gathered on "our" hill, but this year there were quite a few more families. It bothered me at first because one group had five very loud kids and another had a baby that cried for a half hour straight. Of course, all was forgotten when the fireworks began because this was the first year Lauren showed real excitement during the fireworks. She enjoyed them last year at the age of 2, but back then it was more following our lead with the oohing and ahhing. This year every time she would see one, she would yell, mostly to her grandma sitting right next to her but sometimes to us and sometimes to no one in particular, "Look at that one!" or "There's another one!". She also came up with ways to describe her favorites - worms, fire flowers, and the gold ones that go pop pop pop. What fun we had and I'm certainly looking forward to next year when we definitely will hit a parade during the day.

The Apron Strings Go Both Ways
Mood:  special
Topic: Lauren
Lauren and I just spent a great week with my side of the family at the Outer Banks in North Carolina where she and the other kids had an absolute ball playing in the ocean waves, the pool, and the hot tub. After returning from that week of fun and having mom around 24/7, Lauren is slowly getting back into the groove of everyday life. To go from constant togetherness back to mom being away from the minute she wakes up all the way to dinnertime has to be hard. It’s hard for me too because while I look forward to getting back to work and having a break from constant 3-yr-old-ness, I long to be able to stay home with her. Yesterday when I left for work, she woke up and cried, "Why do you have to go back to work so soon?" It just about broke my heart. On the plus side though, there are rewards for both of us that are helping the transition back to reality be a bit more bearable. After being away from her dad for a week, Lauren gets to play with him all day. And every day when I get home I’m greeted by Lauren running to me arms outstretched, yelling "Mommy!" and falling into my waiting arms. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Did You Hear That?
Mood:  loud
Topic: Rants
It was the sound of the life being sucked right out of me. It’s not from having an active 3 yr old or having too much to do. It’s from spending a considerable amount of time with one of those people - you know the type - the lifesucker.

These people talk and talk and talk. You can’t get a word in edgewise. They ask a question of you, but then rarely let you answer. On the occasion that you are allowed to answer, they seem to listen, or at least hear, but then move on to another topic altogether and you’re left thinking, “what the f…?” Sometimes you try to jump in to add your views on the topic, but then wham, you’re cut short. They talk right over top of you. Sometimes you talk louder thinking they will shut the hell up and let you finish for cryin’ out loud. But it’s just not meant to be. You must suffer and you must do it in silence.

An added benefit is that they say the same things over and over. They forget that they already told you, so you have to hear the same story for days in a row. Sure, you’re polite the first few times, but when you get so you just don’t think you could hear it again, you venture to say “Oh yeah, you told me this before”. Does it help? Ha Ha Ha…no. You get the pleasure of hearing it again anyway because they’re already on their roll.

After days with a lifesucker, I want to scream “just kill me now – please!” cuz it’s too damn much work!

Another One For The Fat Girls
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Cool
The first one was from Camryn Mannheim when she won the Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series (The Practice). The second comes from everyday life as told to me by a co-worker about a friend of hers.

A woman and her husband were out on a boat enjoying the beautiful weather, sunny skies, and waves. All of a sudden they see a boat heading toward them and it is weaving back and forth. The husband tried to move out of the way, but wasn’t quite quick enough. The weaving boat hit them and went up and over their boat. The husband had managed to push his wife down to the floor of their boat, but the propeller of the weaving boat caught her across the back. The good news, other than still being alive, was that the blade missed her internal organs and spinal cord by inches. It missed because she had a nice roll of fat in just the right place.

Now that's one instance where I’d be glad it's so hard to lose weight.

Liar, Liar
Mood:  suave
Topic: Lauren
Spying black and red marker on the yellow wallpaper (with Hello Kitty paraphernalia directly underneath it), I asked who had written on the wall. Tony replied, "uh-oh" and Lauren, who looked directly at me, said "I don’t know who did it". This was a first – a flat out lie from a little girl who has never told a lie in all of her three and a half short years and not only was it a flat out lie, but it was told while looking directly at me! But wait, it gets better…I asked her straight out if she did it, to which she replied “No”. I then proceeded to try to trick her up by asking if any of her aliases had done it. She said, “I didn’t do it”.

You may be thinking, “Wow, you’re in for it when she’s a teenager”, but I’m not approaching it from that view. No. At this moment, and granted I’m doing it in order not to panic at the thought of her teenage years, I’m choosing to look at the positive in the situation. At least she knows she and her aliases are one and the same person.