After A Year, It Deserves A Proper Name
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Blogs
I started this blog over a year ago thinking I would never keep it going because, well, I'm just not a talker. I much prefer to listen to others talk or to read what they have written, yet here I am, still making at least a few entries every month. I admit I do have trouble thinking of things to write about and if it weren't for Lauren I certainly wouldn't have had much to write about at all and would have given up long ago.

Anyway, I don't even know if it's possible to change the name, but I'm trying to come up with a proper name for this thing. So far I have "Honey Bunny", a nickname around our house and since most posts are about Lauren... or "Hmmmm" because I have a hard time thinking up things to write about.

I'm leaning toward the latter.

Granted, It Was The 70s
Now Playing: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White.
It's supposed to be a good book for kids, isn't it? Lauren and I began reading this a few weeks ago and I have to say I have misgivings about continuing. From the very first page, in the second paragraph, it mentions how Sam looks like an indian and even walks like an indian. I know it was written in the 70s, but in this day and age, especially with a SIL who is Native American, do I really want Lauren hearing this and considering it an OK thing to say? Not that she would necessarily catch on and say it, but you never know. Case in point, courtesy of the Pinocchio movie, while jumping on the bed a two year old Lauren asked, "Do I look like an ass?"

As we make our way through the book, I hit upon section after section that I do not particularily care for and I find myself having to censor. In chapter 5 the cob discusses his son Louis, who has no voice, as being defective and even says he doesn't want "the strain of having a defective child, a child that has something the matter with him" to which I take particular offense. I certainly don't want Lauren repeating this sentiment about herself because her eyelids are different from other people's eyelids. And I certainly don't want her to ever, ever think that her parents consider it a strain or disappointment to have a child that has something different about her. In the same chapter, the father later uses the word dumb when talking with Louis about his being different. Admittedly he explains there are two meanings to the word, mute and stupid, but we don't want Lauren using the word dumb for either meaning.

On the other hand, how can I NOT continue reading it to Lauren when it has wonderful passages such as this, "And if you had looked up, you would have seen, high overhead, two great white birds. They flew swiftly, their legs stretched out ahead, their powerful wings beating steady and stong. A thrilling noise in the sky, the trumpeting of swans." And this, "Look out for the fox, who is creeping toward you even as I speak, his eyes bright, his bushy tail out straight, his mind lusting for blood, his belly almost touching the ground! You are in grave danger, and we must act immediately." I mean, you can just feel the scenes.

Well, after writing that last sentence, I've decided I have to continue. I'm sure there will be more parts I do not care for, but how often does one find a book with such beautifully descriptive imagery?

Oh What A Feeling!
Mood:  happy
For the past couple of weeks I have had a feeling that something is coming my way - something that will bring a feeling of extreme happiness. I have no idea what it could be, but it's there and it pops up maybe once a week. Maybe it's the snow. Maybe it's the holidays. I always like the first snow of winter and the coming holiday season is my favorite. And I love watching Lauren take it all in. I want to make Christmas magical for her. I want to do the tree, the decorations, drive around and look at lights, go sledding. I can't wait to watch her open her gifts. Nothing makes me happy like my little girl being happy and walking around with a huge smile on her face.

Prepare For Hell
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Lauren
Given her family tree, Lauren is bound to be an introvert. I'm an introvert as is my whole side of the family. I consider Tony a borderline introvert as are his parents, although his siblings tend to be more on the introverted side.

Those were my thoughts before attending a lecture on kids and power struggles. I went because Lauren and I often times end up pushing each other's buttons and escalating each other further into the "red zone" as the speaker, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (author of Raising Your Spirited Child), described it. The lecture informed us parents that power struggles are really about feelings and needs - yours and your child's. We were there to learn to not only identify those feelings, but how to work with them as well because it's "the key to preventing the struggles and teaching kids essential life skills like problem-solving and working cooperatively".

Yeah, been there, heard all of that before.

The interesting part though was when the speaker talked about introverts and extroverts. According to the list of characteristics she provided, Lauren came out to be much more extroverted than introverted. That was interesting and I have to say, it does not bode well for her parents. After explaining that two extroverted parents of an introverted child tend to steer that child toward extroversion and vice versa, Sheedy Kurcinka offered this comment about two introverted parents of an extroverted child, "that child will run them ragged!"

Ugh! I don't think I'm ready for that.

She's On Her Way!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
Granted it's Dick and Jane and the words are "Oh, oh, oh", "Look Jane. Look!", and "Funny, funny Sally!", but Lauren read them!

So There!
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Lauren
Back in September, after just two short weeks of preschool, Lauren's teacher mentioned that we should think about having Lauren repeat preschool next year - yes, you read that right, repeat PRESCHOOL! In her opinion, while Lauren was doing well with the activities, she was having a rough time of it socially, particularly during unstructured time. She went on to say that, with a late summer birthday, Lauren is one of the youngest in the class as well as one of the smallest. Of course, between ourselves, Tony and I immediately launched into how there was no way we would have her repeat preschool. She would be so bored because she was already doing things kindergarteners were just learning. We also went over how, in just the last few months, Lauren had changed so much as far as being more social. She had separated from us during the summer recreation program, granted there were a few tears when I dropped her off vs. Tony dropping her off, but it went well after that first time. She had also ventured out to ask other kids to play with her and then was so proud of herself for doing so. And when preschool started, she would greet the other kids in the hall only to be met with blank stares.

A month later in October when we had a conference with the teacher and she brought up another year of preschool, we were ready with our examples of why we felt she didn't need another year. When she asked if Lauren talked much at home we said yes and that it was non-stop. When she brought up that she was going to put together a play date list, we said great and asked which kids in class were the more articulate ones. When she responded that she thought Lauren would be much better paired with the quieter kids, we pointed out that Lauren loves to play with older girls who actually converse with her. When she brought up Lauren's participation, or lack thereof, during playground time, we said maybe it was because she has never liked crowded play areas where she would be jostled or maybe because, as she told me numerous times, she just didn't want to. Why couldn't that be the reason? It certainly didn't have to be anything deeper than she just didn't want to. I believe we truly surprised her with our stories of how Lauren is outside of class.

Since that time, Lauren has ridden bikes with other kids in the gym. I've seen her talking to other kids while doing puzzles. She has ventured off her "home base" bench on the playground and actually played on the equipment. And, get this; just last week while listening to a story during circle time, she sat with her arm around another boy in class!! The teacher made a bee line for Tony after class and, beaming, said "It was so cute!" Lauren even went back in the classroom to say goodbye to M, they shared a little hug, and M said "See you Monday Lauren".

I guess that little comment I barely managed to utter to the teacher back at the beginning of the school year was right on the money. Once Lauren gets to know people, she does do much better. Repeat Preschool - HA!

So there Teacher!

Morbid Curiosity
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Cool
Here's a small article that really caught my attention. Photos of relatives who have passed - did they carry them around like we do wallet photos of our children? Or did they display them in their homes? Maybe they put them in a drawer for safe keeping only to be taken out when they felt the need to “see” their loved again. It seems to have served a purpose for those who needed it, but I don’t think it would be for me. You can’t tell from the web page, even when you click on the image to enlarge it, but the eyes on the baby in the casket are open. That would definitely bother me. Actually, I can understand a photo of someone in the casket, not that I would want that kind of photo, but the dead mother propped up to “hold” her infant is just too much for me. I can’t imagine posing, much less wanting, something like that. I would be appalled to come across a photo of me, as a child, being held by my dead mother. I certainly wouldn’t be able to shake that shudder out of my shoulders for the rest of my life.

Yet, I’m curious. So there’s definitely a trip to the Hennepin History Museum in my future. I think I’ll hit the postmortem display first and believe you me, I'll be sure to follow it up with "Hips, Pips and Strips: A Revealing History of Burlesque in Hennepin County" and Carrie’s “educated bosom”.

$$$$
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when Lauren demonstrated that she is beginning to understand the concept of money. After we divided a pocketful of coins into pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters, I explained that they were 1 cent, 5 cents, 10 cents, and 25 cents respectively. Then I quizzed her to see if she had grasped the concept. She knew a quarter was more than a dime or nickel and just to be sure she hadn't based her answers on the size of the coin, I held out a dime and a nickel. She knew a dime was more than a nickel. I even asked her how many pennies would make a nickel and she counted out five! All of this is well and good, but it could also be the start of a dangerous time. Right now when we go shopping and she finds something that she would like, she'll ask me how much it costs. Usually I hike up the price a bit, but not always, and she responds with "That's too much money". I've got her trained...trained for now anyway. I'm sure in the next year or so she'll put the rest of the puzzle together and when she can read and understand a price tag, I'm sure she'll call me on my antics. Hopefully by then she'll also understand need vs want.

Out Of TheMouths Of Preschoolers
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
While admiring Tony's beard, Lauren's play dates told Tony that he looked like an elf. After I caught my breath and got up off the floor, I told him it could be considered a compliment to be told you look like an elf. They're nice, they're happy, and they spend their days singing, dancing, and making great toys for the good little boys and girls. And really, who wouldn't want to be a helper to the big guy at the North Pole?

Then, when I arrived home yesterday it was my turn. Lauren was excited to tell me that she had had a gingersnap cookie. She had never had one before and although she thought it was spicy, she liked it. When she asked me if I liked gingersnaps, I replied that I love them. "Oh," she said, "you're a spicy lover".

Hey, beats being an elf! At least I don't have to live where it's cold and I get to wear much cooler looking outfits.

And Then There Was Light
Mood:  cool
Speaking of Lauren's reaction when she finally understands today, tonight, and tomorrow brought back memories of the times I tutored students and saw the proverbial light bulb go on.

I started tutoring when I was in the 6th grade. Every Tuesday and Thursday I would go to other side of the school where the 3rd grade classes were held and I would tutor a few students in reading. I don't really remember how it began, whether I volunteered or I was volunteered by my teacher, but I thought it was fun. My next stint wasn't until my college years when the Spanish professor asked me to help out. I jumped at the chance because I remembered the fun I'd had way back when. Besides, it was considered work study and I would be paid! Some students just wanted someone to help with vocabulary memorization, some needed a bit more help with grammatical concepts, and some needed more help than I thought I could give. One man in particular was so in over his head; I often wondered why he didn't just give up and I have to admit, at times, I felt like steering him toward that end. He was older, a professional student, and he had the hardest time with even the simplest of concepts. Over and over again I tried to explain the difference between the verbs ser and estar (both mean to be, but ser indicates permanence while estar does not) and this gentleman simply could not grasp the concept. I will never forget the day he finally understood. I wanted to jump up and down and shout to the whole campus.

It was during these college years that I really began to "see" the students as they learned. I noticed many a look of frustration and determination on faces and in eyes as they struggled to create a grammatically correct sentence or simply to memorize vocabulary. But I also witnessed the joy, the pride, and the relief when they finally got it! You know what? It really does look like a light goes on and light spreads over their entire faces :-) I think I enjoyed their successes as much as they did. Although, in reality, I'm sure not even half as much.