Kudos And A Confession
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: Books
A while back my four closest female college friends and I started a book club. We had tried years earlier to do the same thing, but found our lives just a bit too hectic to keep it up for more than 3 months. Not one of us can believe it, but this time around, we've managed to keep it going for over two years and we've read over 30 books! Kudos to us! Yeah! Woohoo! Applause, applause, applause. Thank you.

Now I'll let you in on our shameful little secret. Our meetings take place at various restaurants in the area and generally consist of 15 minutes talk about the book, two hours talk about our lives, followed up by 15 minutes talk of the next meeting, book, and restaurant.

Hey, I never said we were a serious book club ;-)

Please Tell Me It Isn't So
Mood:  down
Topic: Lauren
Lauren had been telling me about a parent's day at school where I could visit and spend the day in her classroom. There was even a new girl in class, Mary, and Lauren was excited about me meeting her. When I asked the teacher about visiting, she said that back when school started this year, one parent spent the day in class and at that time she told the kids that if they wanted to bring their mom or dad to class for the day that it would be OK. Apparently Lauren never forgot about it so we set it up for last Tuesday and it turned out to be an interesting couple of hours. I basically joined Lauren in her activities and talked with the teachers and some of the other kids. I was absolutely not prepared for, and still cannot believe, what I overheard when I took the girls for a bathroom break. Three stalls, five girls. Since week 2 of class the two waiting their turns have been the best of friends, generally sticking together like glue and often ignoring the other kids. The other kids, well...mainly my daughter Lauren, have moved on from wanting to do things with either of these two girls. Oh, the girls are still liked, but the other kids, well...mainly my daughter Lauren, just don't bother trying to play with them. Anyway, one girl turns to the other and says:

#1: M, do you know what I'm going to do tomorrow?

#2: What?

#1: I'm going to play with that new girl and not you because that's what you did to me today.

Is it possible? Could it really be starting at a mere 4 years old? I remember feeling like a third wheel and being envious if two of my friends seemed closer to each other than either was to me, but that wasn't until at least 12! And I certainly don't remember pulling the tit-for-tat thing. When it comes to Lauren, and I admit I may be wrong, although I seriously doubt it, I don't think she would ever say anything like that to a friend. She would be more inclined to come to me or Tony and ask why her friend wasn't playing with her. I'm sure she would be sad and disappointed, and probably confused, but I doubt she'd feel envious and she certainly wouldn't be vengeful. I'm not sure if this behavior is learned or if it's a maturity thing - or would that be an immaturity on the part of a more emotionally mature (i.e. has experienced more emotions) girl? The fact that Lauren hasn't shown this type of behavior means either she's learned by osmosis that it's not acceptable or she just hasn't been exposed to it yet. I know she won't learn it from her parents and I am proud of that fact. Nevertheless, part of me is saddened by the fact that she may end up learning it from others anyway.

On The Flip Side
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Lauren
I'd heard so many times about the little "love affair" that has developed between Lauren and another boy in her class and have waited patiently to see it with my own eyes. That same day I spent the day in class I was able to witness it.

From beginning circle time until the end of class Lauren and M were basically together. They both spent most of their free time at the craft tables, sat side by side during story time, and played together in the gym. Whenever it was time to line up, M would stand behind Lauren with his hands on her arms and not let any other child between them. The teacher did mention that M seemed much more possessive of Lauren the day I was there, but who could blame him? He was losing some of her attention to me. Even so, it certainly was as cute as I'd been told.

It's interesting - the different reactions of a boy vs a girl

All in all, I have to say I'm glad that Lauren has moved on from wanting to be a third party in the girls' friendship and has formed a nice relationship with this boy. I would much rather have her experience a bit of possessiveness from M than resentment from E.
when presented with a loss of attention. M became more possessive and E became more resentful. While I view both reactions in a negative light, the latter just seems so much worse to me. Aside from when it's taken to the extreme, a bit of possessiveness can actually start out feeling sort of nice for the receiver because the person wants to be with you and it's nice to be wanted. Eventually it becomes tiresome, but generally there's no malice as there is with resentment.

What I Learned In My Class
Mood:  lazy
I recently attended a three day class from which I thought I was going to learn some very interesting computer database related stuff. Well, not only was the class not very informative (it was downright boring), but the instructor was one of those people who speak a mile a minute and wander off on multiple tangents that are only vaguely related to the subject.

On the second day, as the instructor talked about indexing, he went on about people not wanting to read a book that was written in alphabetical order. That caught my attention and for the rest of the class I spent my time seeing how far I could get in writing a little something in alphabetical order. My goal was three sentences and by the end of the class I had one down. Here it is:

"Anita's Breakdown Creates Difficult Emotions For Geraldo. However, I Just Keep Laughing, Mimicking Nonchalance. Other People Quickly React, Showing They're Uncomfortable. Very Weird. Xavier? Yolanda? Zip."

I actually made a start on sentence number two... (Anita's brother is Xavier)

"Anita's Brother's Controlled Demeanor Evidently Frazzles Geraldo. He..."


Of course, this will bug me until I reach my goal. Anyone want to help? Come on. It's only another sentence and a half...

S-U-G-A-R Spells Christmas
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
As we traveled over the holidays, we stopped for a quick break and since Lauren declared she was hungry, we bought a bag of pretzels. They weren't just any pretzels...they were cinnamon sugar pretzels and Lauren absolutely loved them. She pronounced them very "Christmas-y". Of course this led me to ask her what Christmas is to her. Here are her answers:

5. Gold, Silver, and Red

4. Ornaments

3. Santa

2. Presents - but not just presents...

and the number one meaning of Christmas - drum roll please

1. Sugar!

Good thing we scheduled a dental appointment for the first week in January!

Music Makes The World Go Round
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: Lauren
In a way I'm not surprised Lauren likes music so much since she has relatives on both sides that play several instruments each, enjoy listening to music, and love to dance. She doesn't play an instrument yet, although she talks about wanting to play classical music on a violin when she's older, and she certainly enjoys listening to music. Heck, even in the womb she indicated a preference for R&B by moving around quite actively during Stevie Ray Vaughn numbers.

When riding in my car she still occasionally asks for "I'm a Little Teapot", of which I am growing a bit tired, and Christmas music in general, but she almost always asks for one of the following:

"Mary Had a Little Lamb" by Stevie Ray Vaughn

"Gimme Three Steps" by Lynryd Skynryd

"Runnin' Down the Road" (AKA "Take It Easy") or "Witchy Woman" by the Eagles

anything by the Beatles

Her new favorite is "Shake a Tail Feather" (from the Chicken Little movie) and she really wants me to find that CD. It's by Tommy James and the Shondells and I used to have the album it was on, but I can't seem to find it at the moment. Interesting side bar here - my mom went to school with Mike Vale who was the bass player in the group for a while.

Lauren will dance/bop to all types of music and I can't count the number times I have walked past while she is watching something on PBS or a video from the library and catch her dancing to the music. She's pretty darned good too!

I hope this love for music continues for Lauren because music can be so powerful at times. One can grieve to it, celebrate to it, or make love to it. It can be invigorating or calming. And one can experience things like this and this.

Enjoy some music today.

After A Year, It Deserves A Proper Name
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Blogs
I started this blog over a year ago thinking I would never keep it going because, well, I'm just not a talker. I much prefer to listen to others talk or to read what they have written, yet here I am, still making at least a few entries every month. I admit I do have trouble thinking of things to write about and if it weren't for Lauren I certainly wouldn't have had much to write about at all and would have given up long ago.

Anyway, I don't even know if it's possible to change the name, but I'm trying to come up with a proper name for this thing. So far I have "Honey Bunny", a nickname around our house and since most posts are about Lauren... or "Hmmmm" because I have a hard time thinking up things to write about.

I'm leaning toward the latter.

Granted, It Was The 70s
Now Playing: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White.
It's supposed to be a good book for kids, isn't it? Lauren and I began reading this a few weeks ago and I have to say I have misgivings about continuing. From the very first page, in the second paragraph, it mentions how Sam looks like an indian and even walks like an indian. I know it was written in the 70s, but in this day and age, especially with a SIL who is Native American, do I really want Lauren hearing this and considering it an OK thing to say? Not that she would necessarily catch on and say it, but you never know. Case in point, courtesy of the Pinocchio movie, while jumping on the bed a two year old Lauren asked, "Do I look like an ass?"

As we make our way through the book, I hit upon section after section that I do not particularily care for and I find myself having to censor. In chapter 5 the cob discusses his son Louis, who has no voice, as being defective and even says he doesn't want "the strain of having a defective child, a child that has something the matter with him" to which I take particular offense. I certainly don't want Lauren repeating this sentiment about herself because her eyelids are different from other people's eyelids. And I certainly don't want her to ever, ever think that her parents consider it a strain or disappointment to have a child that has something different about her. In the same chapter, the father later uses the word dumb when talking with Louis about his being different. Admittedly he explains there are two meanings to the word, mute and stupid, but we don't want Lauren using the word dumb for either meaning.

On the other hand, how can I NOT continue reading it to Lauren when it has wonderful passages such as this, "And if you had looked up, you would have seen, high overhead, two great white birds. They flew swiftly, their legs stretched out ahead, their powerful wings beating steady and stong. A thrilling noise in the sky, the trumpeting of swans." And this, "Look out for the fox, who is creeping toward you even as I speak, his eyes bright, his bushy tail out straight, his mind lusting for blood, his belly almost touching the ground! You are in grave danger, and we must act immediately." I mean, you can just feel the scenes.

Well, after writing that last sentence, I've decided I have to continue. I'm sure there will be more parts I do not care for, but how often does one find a book with such beautifully descriptive imagery?

Oh What A Feeling!
Mood:  happy
For the past couple of weeks I have had a feeling that something is coming my way - something that will bring a feeling of extreme happiness. I have no idea what it could be, but it's there and it pops up maybe once a week. Maybe it's the snow. Maybe it's the holidays. I always like the first snow of winter and the coming holiday season is my favorite. And I love watching Lauren take it all in. I want to make Christmas magical for her. I want to do the tree, the decorations, drive around and look at lights, go sledding. I can't wait to watch her open her gifts. Nothing makes me happy like my little girl being happy and walking around with a huge smile on her face.

Prepare For Hell
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Lauren
Given her family tree, Lauren is bound to be an introvert. I'm an introvert as is my whole side of the family. I consider Tony a borderline introvert as are his parents, although his siblings tend to be more on the introverted side.

Those were my thoughts before attending a lecture on kids and power struggles. I went because Lauren and I often times end up pushing each other's buttons and escalating each other further into the "red zone" as the speaker, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (author of Raising Your Spirited Child), described it. The lecture informed us parents that power struggles are really about feelings and needs - yours and your child's. We were there to learn to not only identify those feelings, but how to work with them as well because it's "the key to preventing the struggles and teaching kids essential life skills like problem-solving and working cooperatively".

Yeah, been there, heard all of that before.

The interesting part though was when the speaker talked about introverts and extroverts. According to the list of characteristics she provided, Lauren came out to be much more extroverted than introverted. That was interesting and I have to say, it does not bode well for her parents. After explaining that two extroverted parents of an introverted child tend to steer that child toward extroversion and vice versa, Sheedy Kurcinka offered this comment about two introverted parents of an extroverted child, "that child will run them ragged!"

Ugh! I don't think I'm ready for that.