He's Here - Part II
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Lauren
She did it! She sat on Santa's lap!

We arrived at the mall on Saturday with the intention of visiting the indoor playground, but we noticed right away there was a very short line to see Santa. We hopped in and started our wait. Lauren went on and on about what she was going to tell him - she was so excited she could hardly contain herself. She was actually jumping up and down at one point, LOL! We inched closer and finally we were up next. Of the two small boys in front of us, one cried and one would only get as far as Santa's leg and only if his dad was with him. Lauren made note of all of it pointing out how the baby was crying and the other boy was probably nervous. Then it was her turn and she slowly walked up to Santa. He reached out to pick her up and she hesitated, but for only a second. Then she was there, on his lap, and she was watching him as he talked to her. I heard her say in a very quiet voice that she wanted a kitty. Santa said he couldn't bring her a kitty because it was too cold in the north pole (which I thought was a good response), would a stuffed kitty be ok? Lauren nodded. Then she clammed up. I couldn't get her to say dominoes and checkers, but what the hay...I was so proud of her for going up there even though she was nervous. So, my baby has had her first successful visit to Santa :-)

Awww...
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: Lauren
As I was about to leave for work this morning, I heard Lauren start crying for me from our bed. I went back in to give her a hug and tell her I had to leave for work. With her eyes still closed, she hugged me and said she didn't want me to go. When I said I had to, that I would see her later, and I loved her, she said to wait because she had to give me a kiss. It was so sweet and tugged at my heartstrings.

I miss you and love you Lauren!

He's Here!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
Here it is a month later (see Guess Who's Coming) and it's official. Lauren and I were at the mall over the last weekend and in her words, "We saw Santa's workshop!". She kept repeating that all night long. I explained to her about sitting on Santa's lap and telling him what she wants for Christmas. She said she didn't know what she would tell him, but after a few minutes she came up with dominoes and a "checkergame".

Since that day, she has mentioned numerous times that she is a bit nervous about visiting with Santa. She continually asks if other kids are nervous. I reassure her that there are many kids who are nervous and it's OK to be nervous. She can still talk to Santa even if she's nervous. I can picture our trip now. We get to the mall along with a billion other families, wait in line for hours along with hundreds of other families, finally walk through the maze...and she won't go sit on his lap.

But it won't matter. It won't matter because this is the first Christmas where she truly gets the whole santa thing and it is blowing her away. I cannot describe the pure joy in her voice and the excitement flowing through her little body. It dawned on me the other day as I thought about not getting a tree and not decorating - it is going to be Lauren that will keep me doing the Xmas thing even when it seems too much trouble and not worth the energy. We're going to go to the parade, go to Marshall Fields to see their big animated display, drive around looking at lights, play Christmas music, and watch all the Christmas shows on tv. I am going to be seeing the holiday season through my child's eyes. I am going to tap into her joy and excitement and it is going to be wonderful.

May everyone enjoy this holiday season with the enthusiasm and happiness of a young child!

Girls Vs Ladies
Mood:  happy
Topic: Lauren
While visiting my aunt in Pittsburgh over the weekend, I overheard the following conversation between my 3 yr old daughter and my aunt.

Lauren: Where are we going?

JW: We're going to visit the girls at work and bring them cookies. (Then JW thinks Lauren will think there will actually be young girls at work so she changes her answer)

JW: We're going to visit the ladies at work and bring them cookies.

Lauren: Why did you say that?

JW: What?

Lauren: You said girls, then you said ladies.

JW: Sometimes we call ladies girls. Girls are young ladies who want to be older so they can be called ladies. Ladies are girls who are old enough to be ladies but want to be called girls. How about you? Are you a lady or a girl?

Lauren: Well, I'll just be a princess.


Hmmm...I guess sometimes it all comes down to who gets the best clothes :-)

Travels With Diane
Mood:  special
Now Playing: A Few Memories...
Topic: Family and Friends
I'll never forget the time we went to East Germany before the wall came down. We were on a train headed for some city and found out that we were not going to make it by the time the hotel would close for the evening. So we stopped in a small town that had a hotel near the station, spent the night, and were on our way the following day. While on the train as we perused the travel info we brought along, I came across the following: "Warning - never attempt to stay in a city for which you have no visa!" OMG - That was just what we were doing! We formulated a simple plan. When we arrived in Berlin, we would go directly to the US Embassy. We got out our maps, found where it was located, and hightailed it over there. Needless to say, the place was very secure. We stood at the door and spoke to someone through the intercom. We held up our passports to verify we were US citizens and the door unlocked with a loud click. Once inside we went up to the man sitting behind bulletproof glass and were greeted with cheery, southern, "Hey where y'all from?". We told our story and were informed that the worst that would have happened was when we were crossing through Checkpoint Charlie, they would have detained us for a while. Later when we did pass through the checkpoint, a guard let me keep a coin - totally against the rules - and I sweated that one out until I got to the western side of the line.

One year we decided to make a foray into Hungary. We obtained the appropriate one-day visa and headed over. Man, oh man, was it crowded at the train station. There were people selling their clothes in the streets - my mom swore she had seen a t-shirt that had been selling back home in the department store where she worked. Little did we know that was the day after the borders had opened in some of the communist countries. It was unbelievable and it was incredibly dirty. It also never dawned on us that the Hungarian language didn't look anything like English/German/Spanish/Italian/French as far as letters were concerned. We could not read a single sign. We did manage to find someone who could tell us where to catch a bus to get to Fertod where there was a castle we wanted to see. We hopped on the bus. Well, 90 minutes and 5 Fertods later, the bus driver motioned for us to get off. We were at the castle, enjoyed the tour, and managed to get back to the train station in time for the train back to Austria.

Then there was the time we went to Amsterdam - the sex city of the world. Near the train station is the red light district where the sex trade is in full swing. Naturally we were curious, so we decided we would walk through it - during the safety of daylight hours. It seemed to work like window shopping. The women sit in windows and people walk by looking them over, deciding what they want. As we passed by one window, I noticed it wasn't a woman, but a man inside. I asked my mom if she had seen it and she said no. She didn't believe me, so I told her to go back and look. She ran back past the window, turned around, and calmly walked by as if she hadn't just been past two minutes earlier! I just about died laughing.

There are many more where these came from. We both knew and acknowlegded how incredibly lucky we were - to be able to travel to Europe so many times and to not have anything go really wrong. Sure we missed trains, missed seeing some of the things we wanted, and my mom had her passport stolen once, but we enjoyed every minute of our travels - even if some of the enjoyment didn't hit until we were home safe and sound.

Thanks for the memories Mom!!

Another Whole Year Passes
Mood:  sad
Topic: Family and Friends
This time of year always gets to me. This Sunday, November 14th, will be the 4th anniversary of my mother's death. I can still remember every detail as if it were yesterday. To this day, I still do not have pictures of her on display in my house. It is just too painful.

I usually start feeling blue about a month before the actual anniversary date and it continues up until the date. It's funny because once the 14th is here, it doesn't feel as intense. It's just the month leading up to it. Actually, it just dawned on me - the cycle is just as it happened four years ago. A months worth of the most intense sadness knowing that this time the end really was near and then a new stage of grief when it finally happened. Not as intense, but still very sad.

My mom was a wonderful lady. She was always cheerful, courteous, and kind. She had a great sense of humor. She was also very determined and stubborn! She liked to crochet and she loved to travel. Thanks to her I've been to almost every state in the US and many countries in Europe.

I made two promises to her during the final days of her long battle with breast cancer - if I ever had a daughter, I would give her a middle name of Marie, and I would see to it that some of her ashes made it in to Trevi Fountain in Rome.

The day my mom died I learned I was pregnant. I was able to tell her, although I'm not sure she really understood. I now have a daughter whose middle name is Marie.

I have some of my mother's ashes sitting in a film canister (smile - wanderluster that she was, she would have loved the idea) waiting to be taken to Rome. Yes, I know it's illegal to put anything into Trevi Fountain, but who's to say I can't be sitting on the edge changing the film in my camera when all of a sudden the canister falls into the fountain? ;-) When it happens, she'll be sitting by my side, laughing.

You Are Not Going To Believe This
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: You All Are Going To Be Soooo Jealous...
Topic: Cool
Guess who's coming to MN - go on, guess. You'll never guess.

President Bush? No. The Pope? Nope. Ken Jennings - Jeopardy champ? Wrong again.

Arafat coming to Mayo? Martha Stewart to the Mall of America when she gets out? Greenpeace to protest allowing snowmobiles in state parks? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Want some clues? Older male, loves children, dresses in red.

I was passing through a major department store during my lunchtime walk yesterday and I could not believe it when I heard! Gosh, I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

He's coming! He's coming here to Minneapolis!

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!

Potty Training, Or More Appropriately, Poop Training
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Lauren
Potty training - it's one of the many banes of a parents' existence.

A few months ago, right when I thought I really and truly was going to be the parent of a college-bound daughter still in diapers, Lauren surprised me. Since then she has been successfully peeing in the potty - never has an accident. Well, there was just yesterday, but it doesn't really count...she said she didn't have to go. It was my fault because I didn't make her go before her nap. Why I thought she could drink a glass of watered down juice and not pee for 2-3 hrs, especially when those hours were spent oblivious to the world and her itsy bitsy bladder, I don't know.

So where's the bane part come in? Poop. She will not poop on the big potty; she will not poop on the little potty; the only place she will poop is in a diaper. There was the one time she hopped on the potty to pee and lo and behold, she pooped. But then she screamed bloody murder. She was so upset, she was shaking and clinging to me as if I were leaving and never coming back. From then on, it's been in a diaper. She definitely has bowel control and uses it. For a while there she would go every morning like clockwork. Then when she was in underwear all day, she started waiting until we put on her nighttime diaper. We thought we would outsmart her by waiting until the last second to put on the night diaper, but she would have none of that. No, she is smarter than we. During the "say goodnight to dad" portion of The Stall, she would sneak into a corner and let it go.

Where does that leave us in the quest for the proper and decent disposal of poop? Well, we certainly don't want to force anything because as these kids demonstrate so often, we adults cannot win when it comes to the bathroom habits of our young. We can't leave her in underwear at all times and risk an accident at night, not to mention the dreaded D3 Cycle. Well, we could, but I don't care to be on the receiving end of a shared wet bed and I don't care to be adding mineral oil to her drinks and/or meals. So in our infinite wisdom and with a little help from the internet, her father and I have come up with a plan.

Step 1 - the bathroom is for peeing and pooping. She can have a diaper, but she has to do her duty in the bathroom.

Step 2 - she can have a diaper, but she has to sit on her potty.

Step 2B - she has to STAY sitting on the potty. She cannot sit for a couple of minutes and then stand to do her duty.

Step 3 - She can have a diaper, but the sticky tabs must be loose.

Step 4 - She can have a diaper, but it must be off of her person and lying on the potty seat.

Step 5 - She can have a diaper, but it must be off of her person and positioned in the bottom of the potty.

Step 6 - The diaper is replaced with toilet paper.

Step 7 (lucky 7!) - No more diaper. The poop goes in the potty.

Notice that there is a step 2B...one small step for us is one huge step for Lauren apparently. After three weeks of said plan, we are at a standstill at step two.

I asked some IRL BTDT moms I know and one of them had heard of cases where the child is afraid to poop on the potty. Something about losing a part of themselves... She suggested talking up the poop in the potty. The poop wants to be in the potty. It wants to join the other poops that have gone before. It wants to be with the mommy poops and the daddy poops that are already in the potty. You get the drift.

Now in addition to staying with her and reading to her while she does her duty standing up, we finish with a short discussion about the likes and desires of poop.

What we do to get our kids to do what we want, eh?

When The Parade Passes By
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
Tony and I are always trying to teach Lauren "big" words. Why you ask? Because it's so fun to hear big words come out of such little people, not to mention how they come out ;-)

For example, back when Lauren was around 2, Tony called me at work and put Lauren on the phone. I could hear him coaching her in the backgroud...Tell mama what's in the bottom of daddy's cup...what's in daddy's cup?...what's this stuff Lauren? Finally her little voice pops up with "sediment". He told her the grounds (or whatever the residue is from a cappuccino) in the bottom of his cup was sediment! I'm dying here just reliving it LOL!

So last night I was playing with my darling daughter. We had a small bucket of cylindrical plastic things and we were taking them out of the bucket and standing them all up on the hall rug. Some of the things were white, some were black, and because there were unequal numbers of black and white ones, I decided to separate them. Lauren asked me what I was doing and I said I was segregating them. She helped me finish up and ran out in the living room to tell Tony he HAD to come see...get this...the "sengarade parade"! After I translated we had a great laugh. Of course, to use it as an opportunity to introduce an opposite and another "big" word ;-) I went back, mixed the black ones in with the white, and told her that now we were integrating.

Of course, she's completely oblivious to the connotations associated with the words but some day we'll explain about that and she'll understand. So for now, they are just words...words that mean separate and combine. Or, hey, "big word" incorporate. Oh yeah! Lauren? Hey Lauren? Come here sweetie...

And The Two Shall Become One
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Merging In MN
Topic: Rants

Can someone please explain to me what is so hard about merging? I just don't understand why people can't get the concept.

If there are two lanes and one is closing a half mile down the way, by all means, merge into the thru lane RIGHT AWAY and leave that closing lane void of cars for a half mile. Or better yet, put on your turn signal (it's the polite thing to do) and stop traffic behind you while you wait for someone in the now congested thru lane to let you in. And hey, you know what? This could serve as a perfect opportunity to teach a lesson in MN nice to all of those cars beind you that have people in them who know how to merge properly.

And for you passive/aggressive MN nicers, it is extremely helpful when you position your car in both lanes so that no one can get past you. NOT!

What about me you ask? Well, I'm not originally from MN and I DO know how to merge, so this is one lesson in MN nice I will skip every time. I'll be the one zipping down that half mile stretch and merging where I'm supposed to...guilt-free and 20 cars in front of you :-)