Please Tell Me It Isn't So
Mood:
down
Topic: Lauren
Lauren had been telling me about a parent's day at school where I could visit and spend the day in her classroom. There was even a new girl in class, Mary, and Lauren was excited about me meeting her. When I asked the teacher about visiting, she said that back when school started this year, one parent spent the day in class and at that time she told the kids that if they wanted to bring their mom or dad to class for the day that it would be OK. Apparently Lauren never forgot about it so we set it up for last Tuesday and it turned out to be an interesting couple of hours. I basically joined Lauren in her activities and talked with the teachers and some of the other kids. I was absolutely not prepared for, and still cannot believe, what I overheard when I took the girls for a bathroom break. Three stalls, five girls. Since week 2 of class the two waiting their turns have been the best of friends, generally sticking together like glue and often ignoring the other kids. The other kids, well...mainly my daughter Lauren, have moved on from wanting to do things with either of these two girls. Oh, the girls are still liked, but the other kids, well...mainly my daughter Lauren, just don't bother trying to play with them. Anyway, one girl turns to the other and says:
#1: M, do you know what I'm going to do tomorrow?
#2: What?
#1: I'm going to play with that new girl and not you because that's what you did to me today.
Is it possible? Could it really be starting at a mere 4 years old? I remember feeling like a third wheel and being envious if two of my friends seemed closer to each other than either was to me, but that wasn't until at least 12! And I certainly don't remember pulling the tit-for-tat thing. When it comes to Lauren, and I admit I may be wrong, although I seriously doubt it, I don't think she would ever say anything like that to a friend. She would be more inclined to come to me or Tony and ask why her friend wasn't playing with her. I'm sure she would be sad and disappointed, and probably confused, but I doubt she'd feel envious and she certainly wouldn't be vengeful. I'm not sure if this behavior is learned or if it's a maturity thing - or would that be an immaturity on the part of a more emotionally mature (i.e. has experienced more emotions) girl? The fact that Lauren hasn't shown this type of behavior means either she's learned by osmosis that it's not acceptable or she just hasn't been exposed to it yet. I know she won't learn it from her parents and I am proud of that fact. Nevertheless, part of me is saddened by the fact that she may end up learning it from others anyway.
Posted by lifewithkids
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Friday, 27 October 2006 11:23 AM CDT