Another Whole Year Passes
Mood:  sad
Topic: Family and Friends
This time of year always gets to me. This Sunday, November 14th, will be the 4th anniversary of my mother's death. I can still remember every detail as if it were yesterday. To this day, I still do not have pictures of her on display in my house. It is just too painful.

I usually start feeling blue about a month before the actual anniversary date and it continues up until the date. It's funny because once the 14th is here, it doesn't feel as intense. It's just the month leading up to it. Actually, it just dawned on me - the cycle is just as it happened four years ago. A months worth of the most intense sadness knowing that this time the end really was near and then a new stage of grief when it finally happened. Not as intense, but still very sad.

My mom was a wonderful lady. She was always cheerful, courteous, and kind. She had a great sense of humor. She was also very determined and stubborn! She liked to crochet and she loved to travel. Thanks to her I've been to almost every state in the US and many countries in Europe.

I made two promises to her during the final days of her long battle with breast cancer - if I ever had a daughter, I would give her a middle name of Marie, and I would see to it that some of her ashes made it in to Trevi Fountain in Rome.

The day my mom died I learned I was pregnant. I was able to tell her, although I'm not sure she really understood. I now have a daughter whose middle name is Marie.

I have some of my mother's ashes sitting in a film canister (smile - wanderluster that she was, she would have loved the idea) waiting to be taken to Rome. Yes, I know it's illegal to put anything into Trevi Fountain, but who's to say I can't be sitting on the edge changing the film in my camera when all of a sudden the canister falls into the fountain? ;-) When it happens, she'll be sitting by my side, laughing.

You Are Not Going To Believe This
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: You All Are Going To Be Soooo Jealous...
Topic: Cool
Guess who's coming to MN - go on, guess. You'll never guess.

President Bush? No. The Pope? Nope. Ken Jennings - Jeopardy champ? Wrong again.

Arafat coming to Mayo? Martha Stewart to the Mall of America when she gets out? Greenpeace to protest allowing snowmobiles in state parks? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Want some clues? Older male, loves children, dresses in red.

I was passing through a major department store during my lunchtime walk yesterday and I could not believe it when I heard! Gosh, I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

He's coming! He's coming here to Minneapolis!

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!

Potty Training, Or More Appropriately, Poop Training
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Lauren
Potty training - it's one of the many banes of a parents' existence.

A few months ago, right when I thought I really and truly was going to be the parent of a college-bound daughter still in diapers, Lauren surprised me. Since then she has been successfully peeing in the potty - never has an accident. Well, there was just yesterday, but it doesn't really count...she said she didn't have to go. It was my fault because I didn't make her go before her nap. Why I thought she could drink a glass of watered down juice and not pee for 2-3 hrs, especially when those hours were spent oblivious to the world and her itsy bitsy bladder, I don't know.

So where's the bane part come in? Poop. She will not poop on the big potty; she will not poop on the little potty; the only place she will poop is in a diaper. There was the one time she hopped on the potty to pee and lo and behold, she pooped. But then she screamed bloody murder. She was so upset, she was shaking and clinging to me as if I were leaving and never coming back. From then on, it's been in a diaper. She definitely has bowel control and uses it. For a while there she would go every morning like clockwork. Then when she was in underwear all day, she started waiting until we put on her nighttime diaper. We thought we would outsmart her by waiting until the last second to put on the night diaper, but she would have none of that. No, she is smarter than we. During the "say goodnight to dad" portion of The Stall, she would sneak into a corner and let it go.

Where does that leave us in the quest for the proper and decent disposal of poop? Well, we certainly don't want to force anything because as these kids demonstrate so often, we adults cannot win when it comes to the bathroom habits of our young. We can't leave her in underwear at all times and risk an accident at night, not to mention the dreaded D3 Cycle. Well, we could, but I don't care to be on the receiving end of a shared wet bed and I don't care to be adding mineral oil to her drinks and/or meals. So in our infinite wisdom and with a little help from the internet, her father and I have come up with a plan.

Step 1 - the bathroom is for peeing and pooping. She can have a diaper, but she has to do her duty in the bathroom.

Step 2 - she can have a diaper, but she has to sit on her potty.

Step 2B - she has to STAY sitting on the potty. She cannot sit for a couple of minutes and then stand to do her duty.

Step 3 - She can have a diaper, but the sticky tabs must be loose.

Step 4 - She can have a diaper, but it must be off of her person and lying on the potty seat.

Step 5 - She can have a diaper, but it must be off of her person and positioned in the bottom of the potty.

Step 6 - The diaper is replaced with toilet paper.

Step 7 (lucky 7!) - No more diaper. The poop goes in the potty.

Notice that there is a step 2B...one small step for us is one huge step for Lauren apparently. After three weeks of said plan, we are at a standstill at step two.

I asked some IRL BTDT moms I know and one of them had heard of cases where the child is afraid to poop on the potty. Something about losing a part of themselves... She suggested talking up the poop in the potty. The poop wants to be in the potty. It wants to join the other poops that have gone before. It wants to be with the mommy poops and the daddy poops that are already in the potty. You get the drift.

Now in addition to staying with her and reading to her while she does her duty standing up, we finish with a short discussion about the likes and desires of poop.

What we do to get our kids to do what we want, eh?

When The Parade Passes By
Mood:  silly
Topic: Lauren
Tony and I are always trying to teach Lauren "big" words. Why you ask? Because it's so fun to hear big words come out of such little people, not to mention how they come out ;-)

For example, back when Lauren was around 2, Tony called me at work and put Lauren on the phone. I could hear him coaching her in the backgroud...Tell mama what's in the bottom of daddy's cup...what's in daddy's cup?...what's this stuff Lauren? Finally her little voice pops up with "sediment". He told her the grounds (or whatever the residue is from a cappuccino) in the bottom of his cup was sediment! I'm dying here just reliving it LOL!

So last night I was playing with my darling daughter. We had a small bucket of cylindrical plastic things and we were taking them out of the bucket and standing them all up on the hall rug. Some of the things were white, some were black, and because there were unequal numbers of black and white ones, I decided to separate them. Lauren asked me what I was doing and I said I was segregating them. She helped me finish up and ran out in the living room to tell Tony he HAD to come see...get this...the "sengarade parade"! After I translated we had a great laugh. Of course, to use it as an opportunity to introduce an opposite and another "big" word ;-) I went back, mixed the black ones in with the white, and told her that now we were integrating.

Of course, she's completely oblivious to the connotations associated with the words but some day we'll explain about that and she'll understand. So for now, they are just words...words that mean separate and combine. Or, hey, "big word" incorporate. Oh yeah! Lauren? Hey Lauren? Come here sweetie...

And The Two Shall Become One
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Merging In MN
Topic: Rants

Can someone please explain to me what is so hard about merging? I just don't understand why people can't get the concept.

If there are two lanes and one is closing a half mile down the way, by all means, merge into the thru lane RIGHT AWAY and leave that closing lane void of cars for a half mile. Or better yet, put on your turn signal (it's the polite thing to do) and stop traffic behind you while you wait for someone in the now congested thru lane to let you in. And hey, you know what? This could serve as a perfect opportunity to teach a lesson in MN nice to all of those cars beind you that have people in them who know how to merge properly.

And for you passive/aggressive MN nicers, it is extremely helpful when you position your car in both lanes so that no one can get past you. NOT!

What about me you ask? Well, I'm not originally from MN and I DO know how to merge, so this is one lesson in MN nice I will skip every time. I'll be the one zipping down that half mile stretch and merging where I'm supposed to...guilt-free and 20 cars in front of you :-)

The Opener
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: I thought this would make a good start of a book ;-)
Topic: My Book
So, there I was, an unhappy, fat, forty year old climbing around on the kid playground. How did it happen? I don't know. I just know I wasn't always this way. I used to be happy. I used to be thin. And I used to be young.

But I'm Not Sleepy Mom
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: The Art Of The Stall
Topic: Lauren
Nobody does it better than a 3 yr old when faced with bedtime.

It used to be a short movie (10 minutes), two cookies, two stories in bed, and lights out. Then it became a short movie with many desperate requests for "just one more mom - I promise", two cookies, two stories in bed, and a story "with your mouth". Now it's a short movie with many desperate requests for "just one more mom - I promise", two cookies, two stories, a walk, another goodnight to dad, watch tv with dad for five minutes, and a story "with your mouth". And the mouth story has to be about a stuffed animal she needs to get off the shelf and I have to "talk" him (make the animal talk). Two hrs later my precious child is drifting off to sleep and I'm in panic mode because now I have only 6 hrs left before I have to get up for work.

What is it with kids and bedtime? Sure, we've all heard that it's because they don't want to miss anything, but I tell you, my child is not missing a thing. We co-sleep and she and I go to bed at the same time. Tony is out there posting to ebay or maybe watching television. It's not like she's in there all alone listening to a bunch of partying out in the other room. And it's not like she's missing attention from mom and dad during the day - Tony is a SAHD and I'm there all evening and going to bed with her!

Sigh (and yawn)...when someone figures it out, please wake me up and clue me in ;-)

If Your Friends Jumped Off A Cliff...
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Blogs
Haven't we all heard this before? Whether blogging will turn out to be a cliff, I don't know, but I've decided to run along with the pack. Now, normally I'm just not that talkative so how often I'll have something to say, I don't know that either. But what the heck, it could be some of the best fun I'll ever have!